Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
