1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
