and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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