two words: eviction party
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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