you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
