she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
