So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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