are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
nutella sex= disaster
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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