i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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