when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
