what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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