Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
