No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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