Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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