So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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