I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
