You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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