She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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