No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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