I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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