my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
