Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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