help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
