I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
