Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
