my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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