If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
