I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
