I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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