Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
