he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
