Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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