They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
