Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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