Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
