I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
