He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
