i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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