I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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