why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
