I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
