"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she told me i tasted like america
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
