i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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