Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
