Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
