i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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