no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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