i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
