Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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