just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
