Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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